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    March 07

    随便写写

    不是我不明白,实在是这世界变化快——这是我整个过年期间最大的感慨。原来大家都长大了,都变了很多,已经不再是我原先所熟悉的他们了。

    本来一直想写个年终总结啥的,可是仔细想想,除了工作我仿佛并没有什么特别能让我总结的事情发生,唯一能让我略感欣慰的是终于还是当上客户经理了,终于通往梦想的路上又前进了一步。

    “是我想的太多~~~”——《醉清风》里的唯一让我记住的歌词,可能正是这句歌词让我如此的痴迷这首歌吧,总是在深夜里一遍遍的听着这首歌。是我想的太多,不知道为什么最近总是会想很多,什么都想,但凡能记得的事情都在想,有的是在回忆整个过程,有的则是在想假如的事,然后发现我原来是一个连自己都能骗的大骗子,突然想起儿时的一句话——永远都不要试图了解我,我有太多的面具以至于连我自己都不了解我自己。以前从来都觉得单亲家庭对我并没有什么影响,现在想来影响还是相当大的,造成了一个不善于表达喜怒哀乐的我,造成了一个委屈自己的我,造成了一个两面性十足的我。

    让我想想我多久没哭过了?11年?我想应该是的。呵呵,你能指望一个11年没哭过的人去正确的表达他的情绪么?恐怕是不能吧。很多认识我的人对我的评价都是乐观,对,没错,我是个乐观的人,整天都是笑呵呵的样子,但说实话有时候我真的很害怕我这种乐观,这种乐观已经脱离了正常人的情绪范畴了,就像一潭死水。有时候我甚至觉得自己只是具没有心没有灵魂的行尸走肉而已。

    果然还是想太多了,也讲太多了,再一次证明了我性格中存在的两面性,叹气,无奈,各位看官看看就完了,别想太多了,就当我没说过吧。

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